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Number Thirteen

from Barnacles & Bandages by Jeff Badger

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Written and performed by Jeff Badger

lyrics

NUMBER THIRTEEN I’ve just been to see number thirteen, because I really like the way she sings. She does this thing where she screams on key like J. Roslie. It’s like her theme. Number thirteen says I’m her number four and I’m the only one she’ll see anymore. No one else even gets through her door not like before, there were more. Now we’re both full of medication but we’re not sick of each other yet. When I was born I came out blue. I couldn’t breath, my lungs were like glue, but the doctor saved me with a plastic tube, that was my debut, thank you. Now we’re taking it to the nation, yeah we’re bringing the act on tour. I shout it with authority because I’m so proud, she’s taking my name, oh man she’s in for it now. When she was born she came out pink, she opened her eyes and she let out a shriek, the doctor saved her with a smoke and a drink, well do you think there’s a link? Thanks for the congratulations, but we could really use some cash.

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from Barnacles & Bandages, released November 20, 2008

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Jeff Badger Portland, Maine

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